Archive for February, 2011

Song 5 : Lonely Valentine

Posted: February 13, 2011 in Songs

Howdy all. See, I’ve done a song, and it’s relatively topical, so I’m posting this one today.

As we all know, it’s Valentines Day tomorrow (or today, if you’re reading it on the 14th, or yesterday, if reading on the 15th, or the day before yesterday if you’re reading on the 16th, etc) and every year on Valentines Day, your coupled up friends are all smug posting disgustingly loved up messages to their special ickle squisshy poo, and because you’re mutual friends it comes up on your news feed each time, and your single friends mope about the place whinging that they hate today and nobody likes them and they’re going to drink a litre of vodka and jump off the end of a pier.

With that in mind, I decided to write a song about being alone on Valentines Day.

I’m keeping this post short, as I want to go watch the telly for a bit, so you can listen to “Lonely Valentine” in the widget on the left hand side, and here are the lyrics

“Lonely Valentine” – Ukulele Kris

I’ll be spending Valentines Day on my own,
But I’m not complaining,
Yeah I’m not complaining.

You can spend it with the one you  love,
Spend it with the one you’ve been dreaming of

I’ll be on my own.

I’ll be spending Valentines Day on my own,
But I’m not complaining,
Yeah I’m not complaining.

You can spend stupid amounts of money,
On some things you think your loved one needs.

But they don’t care.

I’ll be spending Valentines Day on my own,
But I’m not complaining,
Yeah I’m not complaining

I’ll be spending it with the one I love,
Spending it with the one, who means the most to me.

I’m talking ’bout myself
I fucking love myself
I really love myself

Enjoy Hallmark Cards Post Christmas “Oh shit we’ve ran out of money, lets make people buy more cards” Day, fuckers



Hello everyone.

So firstly, massive apologies for not keeping up to date with the songs. I’ve been very busy with various things. I’m going to have to squish a few songs into the same weeks, because I think I’m three songs behind schedule.

Anyway, WP Web Host are doing a giveaway where they are giving out WordPress self hosting accounts and a year of web hosting and domain name, and I simply have to post a blog about it, and gain 7 comments on this blog, so if you could all check it out at and then leave a comment here so I can have a general Ukulele Kris blog for all updates about gigs, other recordings, etc, that’d be champion.

Lots of Love

Your friendly neighbourhood Ukulele Man

Kris xxx

Urban Space Cadets

Posted: February 1, 2011 in Uncategorized

Here I am, watching The Simpsons, the episode where Marge has the pretzel franchise, it’s making me hungry, but I’m such a slave to pleasing my readers (all 2 of them), that instead of eating, I’m typing this blog post. So stop your bellyaching, and read on.

You may remember last month, after the first song, I wrote a blog post about the Ukulele Cosmos Open Invitational (god dammit, the hyperlink button looks like a fucking pretzel, too. I’M HUNGRY).

This month saw the song choice, by SRC, to be "I’m The Urban Spaceman" by The Bonzo something something Band. Mr Grumpy complained like always, but he at least submitted a version. Anyways, here’s my take on it.

If it wasn’t about drugs, it is now

Urban Space Cadet

I’m the Urban Spaceman baby,
I’ve got speed,
I’ve got everything you need.

I’m the Urban Spaceman baby,
I smoke grass,
I’m stoned out of my ass.

I don’t need rehab,
I’m no Winehouse,
If I start to come down,
I’ll just get stoned again.

I’m the Urban Spaceman babe,
And I’m passing out,
And puking up on your floor.

I wake up every morning,
And go to the local shop,
Pick me up a pack of fags,
And a cheap bottle of hock.

I’m the Urban Spaceman babe,
And I’m getting fucked,
Out of my tiny fucking head