Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Hello everyone.

So firstly, massive apologies for not keeping up to date with the songs. I’ve been very busy with various things. I’m going to have to squish a few songs into the same weeks, because I think I’m three songs behind schedule.

Anyway, WP Web Host are doing a giveaway where they are giving out WordPress self hosting accounts and a year of web hosting and domain name, and I simply have to post a blog about it, and gain 7 comments on this blog, so if you could all check it out at and then leave a comment here so I can have a general Ukulele Kris blog for all updates about gigs, other recordings, etc, that’d be champion.

Lots of Love

Your friendly neighbourhood Ukulele Man

Kris xxx


Urban Space Cadets

Posted: February 1, 2011 in Uncategorized

Here I am, watching The Simpsons, the episode where Marge has the pretzel franchise, it’s making me hungry, but I’m such a slave to pleasing my readers (all 2 of them), that instead of eating, I’m typing this blog post. So stop your bellyaching, and read on.

You may remember last month, after the first song, I wrote a blog post about the Ukulele Cosmos Open Invitational (god dammit, the hyperlink button looks like a fucking pretzel, too. I’M HUNGRY).

This month saw the song choice, by SRC, to be "I’m The Urban Spaceman" by The Bonzo something something Band. Mr Grumpy complained like always, but he at least submitted a version. Anyways, here’s my take on it.

If it wasn’t about drugs, it is now

Urban Space Cadet

I’m the Urban Spaceman baby,
I’ve got speed,
I’ve got everything you need.

I’m the Urban Spaceman baby,
I smoke grass,
I’m stoned out of my ass.

I don’t need rehab,
I’m no Winehouse,
If I start to come down,
I’ll just get stoned again.

I’m the Urban Spaceman babe,
And I’m passing out,
And puking up on your floor.

I wake up every morning,
And go to the local shop,
Pick me up a pack of fags,
And a cheap bottle of hock.

I’m the Urban Spaceman babe,
And I’m getting fucked,
Out of my tiny fucking head

Song 4 : Mr. Grumpy Pants

Posted: January 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

Well yes, I’m sorry I’m late. I’ve been very busy as of late, and also struggling with the cursed writers block, but thankfully late last night, that block was lifted (albeit probably temporarily) and I’m back writing at your face now.

In my last blog I said I was part way through writing this (well, last) weeks song, and I’ve got to be honest with you, I still am, but I’ve written another song, which would have been this weeks song, but I’m coming down with something, and last weeks song (which I’ve still not finished) is just a bit painful for me to sing with how I’m feeling right now, so that’s probably going to be left until I’m feeling a bit better, whilst I do some songs easier on the voice (and due to that, a little shorter than the previous few), but in my opinion, just as fun!

I’m actually quite pleased with this song, it’s inspired by a curmudgeonly, but lovable poster on The Ukulele Cosmos, and it’s only taken me an hour to write. It’s the sort of song you’d expect to feature in a web animation, or maybe a kids show. This ain’t no high art, but I think it’s fun to dabble with different styles. Last week I did a ska/gypsy/punk song, before that I did a couple of comedic (ish) songs, so the logical progression is onto a kids song. It’s really easy, two chords, and repetitive lyrics. I don’t really care that it’s so simple, as I like it, and I’m going to be humming it for a while now.

Here’s some lyrics. You can listen to the song in the widget on the left hand side of the blog.

“Mr. Grumpy Pants” – Ukulele Kris

Mr Grumpy
Mr Grumpy
They call him Mr Grumpy Pants

Mr Grumpy
Mr Grumpy
They call him Mr Grumpy Pants

He don’t laugh
He don’t smile
Well he’s an angry crocodile

Mr Grumpy
Mr Grumpy
They call him Mr Grumpy Pants

Never ask him if
He wants to dance
Coz he’ll just bite your head off
And then start on your hands

Mr Grumpy
Mr Grumpy
They call him Mr Grumpy Pants

Mr Grumpy
Mr Grumpy
They call him Mr Grumpy Pants

He don’t laugh
And he don’t smile
Yeah he’s an angry crocodile

Mr Grumpy
Mr Grumpy
They call him Mr Grumpy Pants

I’m sure you will agree, that childish is the way forward.

Kris xx

I have to confess, I’ve not done this weeks song. I’m about 2/3rds of the way through writing it, and I’ve really been struggling with writers block this week, and on top of that, I’ve been really busy.

I hope you will forgive me, as I’m not going to have it up by tonight, as I’m absolutely jiggered and need to get an early night, I’ll try and get it up by Sunday, and then also do next weeks song all in this coming week.

Apologies once again, I’m not quitting the project, just an unexpected delay.

Kris x

Infact, I’ve just worked out the chords for the song I’m trying to write, now just to write some lyrics for it.

It’s not going to be a comedy/whimsy one, something more along the lines of Streetlight Manifesto meets Gogol Bordello. It’s quite catchy, and I have a few melodies whirring around my head, it’s too good just to use for something as throwaway as a comedy song (which have a short shelf life in the grand scheme of things)

No song today/Rules change

Posted: January 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

Hi all, I’m just posting a quickie blog post to let you know I’m not going to be uploading a song today. I’m changing the rules to help me not have to panic about things.

My week now begins on Saturday and ends on Friday. I’ll try to get a song done closer to the Saturday than the Friday, though.

I’m doing this because my life has gone absolutely tits up, and today I need to look into what bailiffs can legally take, whether T-Mobile have been absolute cunts and if I can do anything against what they’re putting me through.

This is a bit more important than a song.


Well, I tried

Posted: January 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

I wrote and recorded this weeks song. But every time I click “save” after recording it, my PC shuts down.


Going to give it another couple of goes. By which I mean one more attempt. I even have the audacity project saved on my desktop, but it won’t open that for me to export it to mp3.



Posted: January 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

So noone told you life, was gonna be this way… sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you with the opening lines the theme song to a rubbish (yeah, I’m totally going there) sitcom. Well, it could have been good, if it wasn’t a gazillion episodes long, all with roughly the same plot.

But I’m not here to talk about axed comedies, that would be rubbish, and completely irrelevant, I’m here to talk about music.

You see, after the previous post, I’ve had itchy fingers to blog again, but I planned on uploading my song for my 52/52 challenge on the Saturday of each week (though I expect there may be some situations when it may not get done until Sunday if I’m busy), so I couldn’t just do my song now, because it would mean I couldn’t do anything for a week and a half now, so I’m blogging now to let you know what else I’ve been recording in between.

On the Ukulele Cosmos, each month we have a thing called “The Open Invitational”, where people suggest songs for everyone to upload their own take on it, one person is chosen (by the previous chooser) to choose a song (are you following), then everyone plays the song chosen by the chooser, and then near the end of the month the chooser chooses the next chooser to chose a song.


I was chooser in 2009, and have since be asked to be the chooser three times. But the unwritten rules of the cosmos say you can only be the chooser once. Ho hum.

Back on topic, this months song was Randy Newman’s “You’ve Got A Friend In Me”

Look at him go on that piano. I wonder if he still does “Short People”? I love that song.

Anyhoo, here’s my version

I guess you could also consider it a little tribute to my friends.

I’m off now, because I’ve been trying to write this blog post for three days, I first started it, and then was told the original recording sounded crap, so then the following day I did a new recording, and tried to finish this blog post, and every time I got up to “Short People” my PC crashed. I’m currently borrowing my dad’s laptop to finish this blog. He doesn’t actually like me using this, so I really need to shoot off.

See you on Saturday.


Why I’m doing this

Posted: December 31, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

I used to blog. I used to blog quite a bit. I had a food blog, you see. I used to eat and cook a lot of food, you see. But then I stopped. My friend Nairn whinged at me for stopping blogging, he said I should return to blogging, that blogging was good for the soul, then about a month after me, he stopped on his food blog too. Then I returned and posted about two more blog posts, and realised I really had lost heart with cooking.

So there’s that.

But here I am, starting sentences with “but”, even though my English teacher would shout at me for doing that, but I’m a grown up now, and I shave and have hangovers like what grown ups do, so I’ll start a sentence with “but” if I want. I appreciate I’ve still not managed to explain what the hell I’m up to, I’m very sorry, really. I just always meander into a blog post, it’s essentially just a stream of consciousness, I know where I plan on ending up, and I’m on my way there, I promise. I’ll try and start explaining my actions in the next paragraph.

I’ve always loved entertaining ever since Year 9 in school, when I sang “Flavor of the Weak” by American Hi-Fi at the school talent show, then I got a guitar and learnt how to play it myself, and then I played gigs with The Emotional Problems of Dirk Diggler, my first ska band, and then Peter Simple, my second ska band. Then I played with myself. Sorry, I played solo gigs. Then I got a ukulele, everything changed, well,  nothing changed, I still played with myself.

Thing is, I’ve always been lazy when it comes to writing songs, I don’t think I’ve written more than 20 songs in my life. Probably closer to 10, if I’m entirely honest, so what the devil am I playing at, challenging myself to write 52 songs, a song for every week of 2011. I’m not sure, really. It’s probably a mistake.

I know it’s not an original idea, and many people have done the 52 ,songs in 52 weeks before, most famously, I would say, Jonathan Coulton with his “Thing A Week” blog, and also the 52 Songs in 52 Weeks MySpace page, which I would have liked to have been involved with their group project, but I’m allergic to MySpace, plus I want control over what I do, rather than just uploading a song to MySpace each week, with little to no interaction and feedback, plus I like the idea of keeping all the demos I record available throughout the year, and not just online for a week.

So then, that’s that. I’ll aim to upload each song on every Saturday, though sometimes it may be earlier if I know I won’t be near a PC on a Saturday. There will probably also other blogs where I witter away inanely about something or other. God knows.

Erm, Happy New Year. Or as I like to look at it “Another Year To Contend With”