Posted: January 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

So noone told you life, was gonna be this way… sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you with the opening lines the theme song to a rubbish (yeah, I’m totally going there) sitcom. Well, it could have been good, if it wasn’t a gazillion episodes long, all with roughly the same plot.

But I’m not here to talk about axed comedies, that would be rubbish, and completely irrelevant, I’m here to talk about music.

You see, after the previous post, I’ve had itchy fingers to blog again, but I planned on uploading my song for my 52/52 challenge on the Saturday of each week (though I expect there may be some situations when it may not get done until Sunday if I’m busy), so I couldn’t just do my song now, because it would mean I couldn’t do anything for a week and a half now, so I’m blogging now to let you know what else I’ve been recording in between.

On the Ukulele Cosmos, each month we have a thing called “The Open Invitational”, where people suggest songs for everyone to upload their own take on it, one person is chosen (by the previous chooser) to choose a song (are you following), then everyone plays the song chosen by the chooser, and then near the end of the month the chooser chooses the next chooser to chose a song.


I was chooser in 2009, and have since be asked to be the chooser three times. But the unwritten rules of the cosmos say you can only be the chooser once. Ho hum.

Back on topic, this months song was Randy Newman’s “You’ve Got A Friend In Me”

Look at him go on that piano. I wonder if he still does “Short People”? I love that song.

Anyhoo, here’s my version

I guess you could also consider it a little tribute to my friends.

I’m off now, because I’ve been trying to write this blog post for three days, I first started it, and then was told the original recording sounded crap, so then the following day I did a new recording, and tried to finish this blog post, and every time I got up to “Short People” my PC crashed. I’m currently borrowing my dad’s laptop to finish this blog. He doesn’t actually like me using this, so I really need to shoot off.

See you on Saturday.



Song 1 : Fuck Your New Year

Posted: January 1, 2011 in Songs

Blimey, that didn’t take me long, did it? I was originally going to leave my first song until next Saturday, but if I think about this right (which I probably haven’t), it would mean that my 52nd song would be in 2012, but even if I have thought about it all wrong, and this now means I am able to write 53 songs this year, it’s not as if that’s a bad thing, is it?  Think of it as a bonus feature, or an encore (but there’s a whole year to go to the “will he/won’t he” have an extra song, I’m not going to exert myself working it out right now, I’ve other things to do)

I had so much hassle getting this recorded, I was going to take it easy, and then my friend, Hannah, convinced me to record it and try and get it up for bang on midnight… and I was so, so close. I recorded it, I was reasonably happy with it, for demo standards, I clicked “File” on Audacity, I clicked “Export As MP3”, and then my PC went to a blank screen, as it crashed. Noooooooooo, I internally cried, why do this to me you bastard machine. The clock had just hit 00.01.

The first thing to happen to me in 2011 was my PC crashing, and taking a recording with it. But never fear, I rebooted, opened Audacity and it crashed on me again.

The second thing to happen to me in 2011 was my PC crashing. So, I rebooted, again, and re-recorded, I didn’t listen to it’s playback before exporting to MP3, I was taking no risks. Even if it sounded shite, at least I would have something recorded for prosperity, until I did a re-recording.

I uploaded it to, listened to it, and fuck me, it sounded better than my first, lost recording. So my first annoyance of 2011 actually helped me improve my recording, clouds and silver linings and all that.

Here’s a link to download the song, or you can listen to it in the widget on the left hand side. It’s called “Fuck Your New Year”, which I think is a very cheery sentiment indeed

“Fuck Your New Year” – Ukulele Kris

Well it’s another new year,
There’s still some leftover Christmas cheer,
But not for me, No not for me.
‘Coz I know I’m a grumpy bastard,
But that’s just me.

Yeah I know I’m a pessimist,
I’m fully aware of what my problem is,
It’s just another day, more problems to come my way
Things won’t be much different,
To yesterday.

So I’m wishing you a Happy New Year’s Day
Though things probably won’t change,

So fuck your New Year
Fuck your New Year
Fuck your New Year
Fuck your New Year
Fuck your New Year
Fuck your New Year
Fuck your New Year

Erm, so yeah… happy new year, folks.



Why I’m doing this

Posted: December 31, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

I used to blog. I used to blog quite a bit. I had a food blog, you see. I used to eat and cook a lot of food, you see. But then I stopped. My friend Nairn whinged at me for stopping blogging, he said I should return to blogging, that blogging was good for the soul, then about a month after me, he stopped on his food blog too. Then I returned and posted about two more blog posts, and realised I really had lost heart with cooking.

So there’s that.

But here I am, starting sentences with “but”, even though my English teacher would shout at me for doing that, but I’m a grown up now, and I shave and have hangovers like what grown ups do, so I’ll start a sentence with “but” if I want. I appreciate I’ve still not managed to explain what the hell I’m up to, I’m very sorry, really. I just always meander into a blog post, it’s essentially just a stream of consciousness, I know where I plan on ending up, and I’m on my way there, I promise. I’ll try and start explaining my actions in the next paragraph.

I’ve always loved entertaining ever since Year 9 in school, when I sang “Flavor of the Weak” by American Hi-Fi at the school talent show, then I got a guitar and learnt how to play it myself, and then I played gigs with The Emotional Problems of Dirk Diggler, my first ska band, and then Peter Simple, my second ska band. Then I played with myself. Sorry, I played solo gigs. Then I got a ukulele, everything changed, well,  nothing changed, I still played with myself.

Thing is, I’ve always been lazy when it comes to writing songs, I don’t think I’ve written more than 20 songs in my life. Probably closer to 10, if I’m entirely honest, so what the devil am I playing at, challenging myself to write 52 songs, a song for every week of 2011. I’m not sure, really. It’s probably a mistake.

I know it’s not an original idea, and many people have done the 52 ,songs in 52 weeks before, most famously, I would say, Jonathan Coulton with his “Thing A Week” blog, and also the 52 Songs in 52 Weeks MySpace page, which I would have liked to have been involved with their group project, but I’m allergic to MySpace, plus I want control over what I do, rather than just uploading a song to MySpace each week, with little to no interaction and feedback, plus I like the idea of keeping all the demos I record available throughout the year, and not just online for a week.

So then, that’s that. I’ll aim to upload each song on every Saturday, though sometimes it may be earlier if I know I won’t be near a PC on a Saturday. There will probably also other blogs where I witter away inanely about something or other. God knows.

Erm, Happy New Year. Or as I like to look at it “Another Year To Contend With”